Pump our own gas? In New Jersey?

48 other states allow it. And you could still choose full service if you miss the abuse.

To hear the howls of protest against Gov. Corzine’s proposal for self-serve gas, you would think he wanted to ban booze. (Just to clarify, the governor does NOT want to ban booze. His approval rating couldn’t take the hit.)

The governor says consumers could save as much as 6 cents per gallon if they pumped their own gas. But so many New Jersey drivers complained, Corzine has all but abandoned even attempting a pilot program.

48 other states allow it. And you could still choose full service if you miss the abuse.

By Dave Boyer

Inquirer Editorial Board

To hear the howls of protest against Gov. Corzine’s proposal for self-serve gas, you would think he wanted to ban booze. (Just to clarify, the governor does NOT want to ban booze. His approval rating couldn’t take the hit.)

The governor says consumers could save as much as 6 cents per gallon if they pumped their own gas. But so many New Jersey drivers complained, Corzine has all but abandoned even attempting a pilot program.

Among the objections:

I don’t like to get out of my car. Is that so? You’re content to sit in your car at the Wawa super station while an attendant fills up your tank, then pull away from the pump and drive about 50 feet to parking space, get out of your car, and go inside the Wawa to buy hoagie. But getting out of your car at the pump – that’s a hardship?

Changing the law would not force anyone to get out of his or her carton pump gas. You still could pull up to a full-service pump and enjoy the same experience you’re getting now: waiting five minutes for an attendant to acknowledge your presence, grinding your teeth as the attendant overfills your tank, waging a battle of wills as the attendant tries to shame you into tipping him a quarter for selling you$3-per-gallon gas that will pay for the fifth Jacuzzi for some retiring oil executive. Happy motoring!

I might get robbed. This implies that you believe$3-per-gallon gas is something other than a mugging. Unfortunately, it’s true that you could get robbed while pumping gas. Other activities during which you could get robbed: sitting in your car while waiting for an attendant to pump your gas, buying a hoagie at a convenience store, watching Deal or No Deal on your couch at home, doing anything in Trenton, withdrawing cash from an ATM to pay for your gas, listening to your bipod while walking to work because you can’t afford gas.

This is unfair to senior citizens and disabled people. Again, nobody would force you to pump your own gas. Self-serve gas would be adoption. Somehow, senior citizens and disabled people in 48 other statesman age to survive with the self-serve option. Seniors did not emigrate by the busload to New Jersey or Oregon, the only two states that prohibit self-serve gas. They moved to Florida, pumping their own gasmen route.

I Goggled the phrase “the plucky senior citizen who got out of her car to pump gas and was never heard from again.” I got zero hits. Don’t you feel better?

Some gas station attendants will lose their jobs. I feel bad about this, I really do. But the government allows us to check out our own groceries. Self-serve gas pumps are much easier to operate than those cranky grocery scanners that accuse you of shoplifting if you smooch as burp at them. I would rather pump my own gas than endure the stigma of hearing a mechanical voice scolding me to “REMOVE UNSCANNEDITEM” from my bag.

Why require employees to perform a service that most of us can do by ourselves safely and quickly? People know how to operate parking meters, and we don’t mandate the presence of an attendant to insert the coins for us. Although in New Jersey, somebody is probably drafting legislation.

Drivers won’t see the savings at the pump. That’s right. We’re driving around in our 8-m.p.g. gas guzzlers, driving when we could ride a bike or walk, running the engine while parked so the kidskin watch the on-board DVD player, but suddenly we’ve become conscientious stewards of how our gas dollars are spent.

I don’t want to get smelly gas on my hands. What, you’re too good for brain damage? I’ve been pumping gas for years in other states, and it hasn’t affected nebula fishnet outtalk here thought process one bit.

It’s pretty difficult to spill gas on yourself at the pump. But if you’re still afraid of doing so, here’s an idea: GO TO THE FULL-SERVE LANE, AND LET THE REST OF US PUMP OUR OWN GAS.