When you’ve had a shotgun pushed in your face by your stepfather at age 5, a slumping stock market isn’t the worst thing you’ve had to overcome.
So while Chris Gardner talks to an Omaha audience next month about his year as a homeless single father – as Will Smith portrayed him in the 2006 movie “The Pursuit of Happyness” – you can understand that he has some experience in breaking destructive patterns in life.
Family violence is one. Fear is another. Waiting for help from others is yet another.
“Folks have been scared for a real long time,” Gardner, who speaks with forceful authority, said in a phone interview. “One of the things I try to share is, I can understand being afraid, but the cavalry ain’t coming. The only person you’ve got to count on is YOU.
“The person who will help you does not live in the White House. The person that cares the most about you and your family lives in your house. It comes down to friends, family, folks – not the feds.”
He realized that truth early, Gardner said, because his stepfather told him almost daily, “I’m not your daddy,” and threatened him and his mother.
“That changes what you’re going to do with the rest of your life,” Gardner said. “Do I become that guy, inflict that kind of pain on other children? Or go the exact opposite direction? I chose to go the other way.”
Gardner’s history and his message are appropriate for the Omaha event, the 11th annual D.J.’s Hero Awards Luncheon May 4 at the Qwest Center Omaha, coordinated by the Salvation Army.
The awards are named in memory of D.J. Sokol, son of David and Peggy Sokol, who lost his battle with cancer at age 18. Six young people will be recognized for overcoming personal obstacles and will receive $5,000 scholarships.
In the memoir that led to the movie, Gardner, now 55, describes his troubled upbringing, how he spent time in jail because of $1,200 in unpaid parking tickets in San Francisco and how at age 28 he ended up homeless but with custody of his toddler son, Chris Jr.
One night the two slept in a locked bathroom at the Bay Area Rapid Transit station. They also stayed at Glide Memorial Church and other places that provided shelter.
Eventually he landed a job as a stockbroker, worked his way out of poverty and today is president of his own brokerage, Gardner Rich & Co. of Chicago. He also is a philanthropist and motivational speaker.
Gardner has met Nelson Mandela and plans an investment project in South Africa. There is a TV series in the works too, Gardner said.
Today’s economy truly presents a struggle, he said.
“But I’ve seen this movie before. I know that if you do certain things – stay real focused, clear and committed to doing something you’re passionate about – this thing’s going to be OK.”
In the meantime, he said, “this is an opportunity for a lot of us to ask ourselves the big questions,” such as: “What’s really important to me? Do my children know me? Will I take the time and try to live a more balanced life?”
Gardner said a friend who manages a hedge fund recently commented, “I don’t know if my wife loves me.”
“Too many of us, especially men, allow what we do to become who we are,” Gardner said. “When you lose your job, who are you?”
People are learning another lesson, too, he said:
“These companies that we work for don’t really care about you. You could be laid off, downsized, merged out of a job just like that.”
An estimated 1 billion people saw “Pursuit of Happyness,” Gardner said. “Every day people want to share how the movie touched them, how it’s made a difference in their lives. That is an absolute honor.”
Even noted author and poet Maya Angelou had a reaction to the movie, he said, telling him, “This is not even about you. It’s about everybody who ever had a dream and wouldn’t quit.”
“When Dr. Angelou tells you something like that, you say, ‘Yes ma’am.'”
Gardner later had a daughter, Jacintha, and both children are grown and doing well now. During filming of the movie, they were on the set as much as they wanted to be, Gardner said. He once asked his son what he thought of the film.
“That was nice, Pop,” the son replied. “It was OK.”
But watching Will Smith playing his father? In Chris Jr.’s words, “Oh, man, that was the bomb!”
Gardner said his unconscious habits – the way he squeezes his head when he’s tense, the way he claps his hands when he’s elated – ended up in Smith’s portrayal.
“While everybody was watching him, he was watching me,” Gardner said.
Gardner himself appears briefly near the film’s end, walking by as the actor listens to his son, Jaden Smith, who played Chris Jr., tell a joke.
“Knock-knock,” Jaden says.
“Who’s there?” Smith answers.
“Shelby.”
“Shelby who?”
“Shelby comin’ round the mountain when she comes.”
• Contact the writer: 444-1080, steve.jordon@owh.com
The important part of this story is :
“Folks have been scared for a real long time,” Gardner, who speaks with forceful authority, said in a phone interview. “One of the things I try to share is, I can understand being afraid, but the cavalry ain’t coming. The only person you’ve got to count on is YOU.
“The person who will help you does not live in the White House. The person that cares the most about you and your family lives in your house. It comes down to friends, family, folks – not the feds.”