The online location for Vernon J
Where Vernon J BREAKS his news
I am going to send letters to 50 girls named Dawn in each and every State. What should I include in the letter.
Name: Vernon Joseph Davis/KING Vernon
Age: 30ish Birthdate: June 9, 1979
Location: Omaha
Marital Status: Never Married or Engaged
Occupation: Secretary @ The Salvation Army
Phone Number: 402-516-4401
Weight 183ish +/- 6 lbs.
Picture will be included.
The Guys’ Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally
(
We always hear
, the guys’ side of the story. “the rules“
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note… these are all numbered “1”
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls,
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
1. If it itches, it
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…
don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys. other one NOTneed directions and neither do we.A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. will be scratched.Really
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or
1. You hav e enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can –
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can –
golf. Round IS a shape!
to give them a bigger laugh
Has anything changed in the past 365 days? Wait to see!! Hopefully by the time this roles around I will be able to say I am happily in Love with a beatuiful, smart, funny, caring woman.
This is what is going to happen. I am going to http://www.cmafest.com Fanfair which runs June 7-10th. I hope to have a blast.
Went to the Whiskey Roadhouse on Thursday night.
Took $10 came home with $70. I won $60 from the Horseshoe Casino. I say bring it oh yeah.
I can not beleive this crap that is happening today(raining on Sunday).
I won on the r-o-adio again. CD titled, brand new girlfriend.
I am going to be going to Portland, Oregon for NY 06/07. I am leaving Omaha on 12/29, and coming back Jan. 1st or 2nd.
Do you want to go let me know, we can paint that town a new shade of KING Vernon.
HAPPY AUGUST 🙂
I want to wish everyone a happy August!
At the mere age of 27 yrs and about 10 months, I am starting to see some hair along the chin line. YEAH, dance for joy. This time next year, I will have full grown peach fuzz!!