so this girl from Ashland came up here, and I e-mailed her. I am laughing so hard I am crying
I can’t deal with our relationship right now, I am just too tired of fighting. Maybe you do have a boyfriend, but I don’t think you do. Someone put it to me that you may be saying that because you are scared I am going to not let you back in. I still love you, and would do anything to be with you. You may still love me and want to be with me, maybe you don’t. But since you are not saying that, I need to go. We may be the perfect match for each other, but it’s tough. I don’t know what to do about it, I have tried my best and am tired of trying. I am leaving Marquette Wednesday night, because you will not be where I go, maybe Nebraska but not sure yet. I just know that we are both unique and special, and that is why we were together. Since I broke up with Wakana in July of 2001, I was preaching the anti-girlfriend story. But in August of 2002 I met you, and something went differently. I could have stuck by my guns and avoided having a relationship with you, but I would not have also experienced true happiness for the first time. When we broke up in December it was over, you didn’t want ‘
[00:29:32] Rebecca K.: see thats the thing, i dont really want a long term relationship, there is still some exploring that i need to do independant of someone else’ This was all I was originally going to put in the e-mail, but after carefully consideration I am attaching our whole break-up. Read it if you want to, don’t read it if you don’t want to. If you want to read our entire history let me know, bc I can give it to you. I sorry that this is going to be long, but it just happens that way.
Back to my original anyways. I am going away, I don’t know if I am coming back. I am leaving for two reasons, I can’t handle this relationship that we are in, and I am not happy in Marquette. If you want to see me I suppose you know how to contact me. I also wanted to include the words of the song, I would send it to you but hotmail is sucky and won’t accept the file. But you can download it here myweb.nmu.edu/~vedavis/10JustTooTiredtoFightIt.wma, if you want to. I am not asking much of you anymore. Maybe I will get better when I am gone, but maybe not. You have decided I suppose by getting a boyfriend that you don’t want to be with me. I am NOT getting any better here, I therefore have no reason to stay in Marquette.
words of the song
Here comes the same old memory / Like a movie in my mind / You told me you loved another / And they you drove off though the pines / And I swear it feels like yesterday / Though it’s been a long, long time / I can still feel those cold chills / Runnin’ up and down my spine / chorus And I’ve been fightin’ back the memories / I’ve been fightin’ back the tears / And I’m fightin’ back the hurt I still feel / After all these years / If I had the strength I’d fight / To make things like they were before / But I’m just too tired to fight it anymore / Everyday my heart reminds me / How I boldly spoke those lines / I can get along without you / And I’m gonna be just fine / But the nights alone grew colder / Then I ever thought they’d be / And I spend every hour searchin’ / For what you took out of me / repeat chorus / bridge / And I thought time would overcome the torture / But instead I’m getting weaker everyday / Oh I’ve been fightin’ back the memories / I’ve been fightin back the tears / And I’m fightin’ back the hurt I still feel / After all these years / If I had the stregth I’d fight / To make things like they were before / But I’m just too tired to fight it / There ain’t no strength I’d fight/ To make things like they were before / But I’m just too tired to fight it / There ain’t no way to hid it / I’m just too tired to fight it anymore / Yeah I’m just too tired to fight it anymore. Of course our relationship has not been years like this, AND I don’t want it to be. Maybe this is best maybe it isn’t, but I have decided that it is what I am going to do. Not much can stop me from going, but let me tell you there is a way.
‘maybe ill follow you – her
YES i do – her’ statments like this is why I am leaving
You do not need to concern yourself with that information.- me
with what money and headed where – her
I plan on getting on the greyhound @ 11:50 and that is it for now. What I chose to do is none of your concern anymore. – me
If you want to get a good job, you will need ot graduate, what do oyu plan on doing with your life – her
I DON’T NEED to graduate, I need to enjoy this nice as lunch. Haven’t finilizied where I am going, but you won’t know unless I tell you which I don’t see happening. – me
Where are you going, you need to graduate. – her
Who is gonna win tonight, YOU DAMN right the Northern Wildcats are. We are 2-1 at the end of the 1st period
So I am going to leave Marquette on Wenseday. I am going to take a bus to Chicago, then from there I don’t know where. I am just not happy in Marquette anymore, haven’t been for awhile. I could go out to Lincoln and apply at UNL, or I could go somewhere else. Anybody got a suggestion for a man without much hope?
you are a good person, you just piss me off sometimes about this stinky relationship , me
I don’t try to, her
you meant not try to but you sure aren’t trying not to, me
So lately last 2-5 days I realized I don’t care about fininshing school now. No reason to.
So I was talking to this guy about my problem. He had the assumption that she meant be scared to admit we should get back together. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! That would piss me off more!!!
I sent her an im, but did not get a response. So we have talked in 3 days I think.
Makes me happy