Seeking personal assitant

I need a personal assistant to assist me in returning phones calls. Receive $1000 per day. Apply and start today. No experience required. I will train you and provide on-going support to achieve success. Must be able to work from home and commit to at least ten hours per week. This is life changing. Please leave me a name and number to call you. Terrence 404-399-9797.

Actual Ad posted

DAMN assistant.

I hire someone to be my personal assistant, and they forgot to take out dinner.  Their sorry ass is FIRED