Day: September 2, 2003

I wish I could say that, but I can’t it really sucks. I realize that I am nobody’s somebody, no one to call/write/e-mail that I care about. Life really sucks when you have no one to call on. If you ever become a parent, DO NOT treat your children wrong. They will pay for it and life will suck. Especially when they are about to graduate college, they are expected to go out and be a productive member in society. But what the hell am I supposed to do when I go home. No one to talk to about anything, my horrible day at work. How the person you love has issues that they do not want to face, because they are afraid. I hope if ANY of you have EVER broken anyone’s heart, it never happens to you. It sucks, and you probably hurt that person very much. I am still upset with Rebecca (rkurshen@nmu.edu, dainty18@hotmail.com) that she broke up with me for a stupid ass reason. I tried to totally understand where she was coming, but CANNOT. She says she does not have a problem with homeless people, that is udder bullshit. She says there were also other reasons, BULLSHIT. I was/am still the same person that she broke up with in December, because she did not want a serious relationship. Now if she had a problem with anything, she SHOULD NOT have gone back out with me. HELL I would have been better off!!! It hurts worse when you string people along, I would rather be 100% honest than a white liar. I once broke up with someone, but I did not try to go back out with that person. I didn’t let crap build-up either, the moment I had a problem with them, I let her know. I wasn’t playing with tug of war with that person’s heart. I don’t have many people I call friends, because people change. That is why I haven’t been let down that many times. I opened up to her and gave her all of me. I respected her as a person, and this is what I got. But against all odds, and my personal logic I gave her a second chance. I was ready to give her a third chance because I cared for her. But when someone is too weak to admit that they have a problem, I don’t need to associate with that person. I am not perfect in any sense, but I am able to admit that. It takes someone with a lot of will and desire to admit they have a problem. But you shouldn’t take other people down with you, and that is what she tried (I suppose) to do. I am walking here and been thinking. I don’t have much reason to do anything, no one to call and tell them I graduated. I suppose I will get in my U-Haul and do something with it, maybe not because I have no reason to do it. Personal goals are great, but they are no good if you don’t have anyone to celebrate them with. Signing off for now.